Mom and Teacher

So its the end of week 5 of our first year of homeschooling. I felt like we were heading in the right direction this week even though there were curveballs thrown at us with non-school stuff. The kids seem to really be learning and they are enjoying learning at home with me. My son seems a bit more thoughtful than before and my daughter is starting to grasp concepts that just didn't click for her before. They are both excited to learn about new things and we started our day out with walking and some fun art with the charcoal we just got.

Well so much for our blissful school day I though t would happen. Its only noon now and today has proved that its still hard and we are still trying to figure out attitudes, schedules and expectations etc....the kids are bothin their room awaiting me to come speak to them about the choices they have made and the consequences of making them. My biggest frustration in homeschooling so far has been my role as both mom AND teacher and figuring out how to blend them together. I'm having a difficult time figuring out how too discipline the kids and still getting the work done that needs to get done . They are testing the waters for sure with bad attitudes, complaining, and questioning everything I ask of them. What do you do when your kids complain about having to the work, what do you do when they whine and get mad and stomp away when I've said that they need to take some time out and go sit in their room until they can come back and be ready and willing to learn and do their schoolwork.. I really don't want to spank them for school related items but at the same time they are truly being disobedient and disrespectful. I've taken things away, I've offered incentives, I'm at a loss today.....so I will give it to God

So here I go , off to each their rooms to talk it out now that I've calmed down and also they have had a time to reflect....BUT first I need to pray for God's wisdom and love right now.....

Homeschool & a pity party.......I think not!

So week 4 of homeschooling will be begin tomorrow and already I am feeling under attack. The kids and school are not so much the cause of this, but this weekend has proved to be difficult for my hubby and I. So why would this affect my homeschooling? Well, because, when I am having a hard time, I just want to crawl in bed with a cup of tea, get comfy , and escape in TV land where everyone's marraige seems so blissfully simple.... The thought of trying to teach my kids just doesn't sound like much fun and I want to have my pity party. Want to come?

Before you get worried, please know that I do know some truths in all of this.
Truth: I need to have some quiet time w/ God. I know that with him we will get through this and more than likely, we will be even bettter for going through it.
Truth: Forgiveness and Grace are gifts that were not only given to and shown to us, but we are told and asked to show this forgiveness and grace to others as well....even and especially to husbands
Truth: I LOVE my husband and our bumpy weekend seems small in comparison to the things we have overcome.
Truth: I'm sure he has felt neglected this past month while I have been engrossed in homeschooling stuff
Truth: I was probably at fault too....and I should probably admit it
Truth: Apparently God was homeschooling me (us) this weekend and we failed our class
Truth: Writing this all down and reading it reminds me that life is beautiful....MY life is beautiful and I am so thankful and blessed to be in it...
Truth: I will take what I have learned and teach my kids tomorrow with the love, joy , and grace that was given to me and it will be great!!!!

......But I think I will also have that cup of tea. :)

My kids have been in the public school system about 6 yrs and this year we knew we were being called to change that. I was very nervous, but with God's direction and the prayers and support from lots of friends, we began.....

Today was day 10 of homeschooling the kids this year. It was a very tough day full of raw emotions, failures, and forgiveness. I realized that my youngest is as stubborn or even just maybe a little more stubborn than I was when I was a child. Or rather, maybe he is much bolder in his stubborness than I was. The whole day I just kept saying "don't back down, be strong, stand firm, don't let him get his way, (and my favorite), I will win" . So if you know my son, I can tell you that he was thinking the SAME thoughts except I think his were compounded by the fact that his hormones are slowly changing and I was not being as patient as he needed me to be. Grace was not my best feature today by any means. Maybe I was so wrapped up in my pride and of being so right, I really didn't see that he was hurting. I don't even think he knows why he is hurting...I sure never found out, but it definitly was genuine frustration and exasperation.

I spend way too much time thinking that I can't let them "get away" with things, that I'm not opened to the fact that they might need a mom who will take the high road and find another solution instead of demanding they obey the solution I felt was right in the beginning. Surely I don't mean that I will let them get away with something that is wrong or that consistency isn't necessary , because I believe it most certainly is. But I need to really take each moment of frustration and disobedience and tailor according to what will help them truly learn and feel loved and worthy..... Instead of worrying that I have to win, I need to focus on TRUTH and the heart of my children. The children that God created gave to us to bring up. He knows what they need before I do. I need to pray and ask and then listen to what that is. All of these changes they are starting to go through are just the beginning and they will be facing situations in the near future will have such a big impact as to how they will learn love and grace. I want to focus on that!!!

So today was not the best, but it did get better and I still love homeschooling them. I'm not ready to give up by any means. They are so precious even when they are being stubborn. I know that God has some big plans for us through this adventure that we began just 10 days ago. I am looking forward to helping them "bloom" and "blooming "with them..........